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Who is Darthrj?
Darthrj is Ryland "RJ" Gralish. Most of you reading this will already know this because I really doubt too many people are going to be looking at this page that don't know me already. For anybody that doesn't know me or doesn't know this part of my story, this is a little recap of my life thus far.
I was born in St. Paul and lived there until just before second grade. I moved with my parents to New London (MN) and lived in my great grandpa's old farm house because my parents wanted to get me away from the cities. I wasn't very popular for a long time in school until about my junior or senior year of high school. This was mostly due to the fact that that was when everybody started breaking up the "cliques" and socializing with everyone. I had my own little group of friends and I guess it was a relatively typical childhood. Nothing really special to make note of. When I graduated high school, I moved to Hutchinson to go to Ridgewater and get a degree as a computer programmer. School started out rather badly and I had to sort of start over again this year, but things are going much better this time around and I'm much happier for it. I've jumped jobs a few times, but right now I'm working overnights at ShopKo. It's relaxed and a good atmosphere. I like it and I'm happy with that part of my life.
One of the most important things in my life right now is that I just recently found out how much love can hurt. I met this wonderful girl named Nicole, or Nikki to everyone she knows, while I was working at Wal-Mart. We became really good friends and started dating pretty quickly. I fell in love with her immediately. Several months into our relationship I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I asked her to marry me and we were engaged for about 10 months. Our relationship was wonderful and we both loved each other dearly. Right around December and January things were getting really rough because she was down in St. Paul going to Hamline and it was really hard on both of us not to be able to see each other. We were having fairly typical relationship issues and being apart wasn't helping anything. Nikki decided that she needed to have some time to be single and just be independant for a while. I was hurt, but I love her very much, so I was able to understand that and give her the space she needed. We are still best friends and we still love each other very much, so I think we can work things out again and be very happy together again, but it has been extremely hard on me this last month or so. She told me just recently that she wants to date this other guy who she's been friends with for a long time and actually dated once before. I have a really hard time with this because, yes, I want to be with her, but more than that, I want her to be happy. I'm afraid that Matt is not going to be able to make her happy or that he will hurt her. I won't deny it, I have hurt her in the past, and it kills me to even think that I could do that, but I know what I did and I'm doing everything I can in life to never make those mistakes again. I understand if she doesn't want to be with me, if I don't make her happy anymore, or if she just needs something else right now. If she's not happy with me, then I don't want her to be with me. I want her to be happy, and I'm afraid that she's going to get hurt. I love her with all of my heart and seeing her hurt kills me. But I'm holding out hope and faith. She's expressed to me that, even if she does see him, it won't be anything serious, and that the only person she can see herself spending her life, at least the majority of it, with is me. I still love her deeply and she loves me and that brings me comfort and hope. I thank God every day for bringing her to me and for giving us the time we've had and will have together. I also thank Him for giving me the strength to get through this.
Well, if you've taken the time to read all of this, I thank you for letting me spill my heart out a little bit and I hope you enjoy my little corner of the web here. There's not much, but I do what I can, so thanks for taking the time to check it out :)
-Ryland Gralish, March 26th, 2006
Ok, so it's been a really long time since I wrote that. Things have changed in the situation with me and Nikki ... a lot. I don't really have time to go into detail right now, I swear I will update soon and give lots, but for now, if you really are curious about what's been up, you can either call me or email me or whatever. I'm sure if you really want to know, then you probably know me and how to get ahold of me, or even know the story already. Thanks for the patience.
-Ryland, May 9th, 2006
Copyright © 2006 by Ryland "Darthrj" Gralish
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